Revised: February 9, 2025
The measure of success is not determined by fame and wealth; it is measured by your level of understanding of who you are, why you are here and where are you going from here.
As we move through life, we often find ourselves contemplating success and what truly makes a successful life. When we aren’t careful, we fall into the trap of comparing our road to success to the paths of our peers, friends, and family. Using the familiar societal measuring stick—the accumulation of wealth, fame, marriage, and kids—many of us find that our lives simply do not measure up the way we expected.
For the sensitive, the spiritual, and the deeply feeling, this struggle to compare one’s path to others is acute. If you have been called “too sensitive” for as long as you can remember, you may have internalized the idea that your emotional honesty is a problem to be fixed. However, sensitivity is not a problem; it is the beginning of your power.
It is time to put down the societal measuring stick, because the only one that truly counts is the one with your name on it. We must redefine success for ourselves, individually and personally, for only our definition is accurate for our unique journey.
The High Cost of the Mask
For many sensitive people, the emotional cost of trying to fit the societal measure is immense. Many of us are constantly reading the room, adjusting ourselves to keep the peace, or shifting and shaping ourselves to connect. This “performance” is exhausting and creates dissonance.
The price of dissonance is particularly high if you are a highly sensitive person or empath. No amount of money, prestige, or benefits is worth betraying yourself. Why? Because the dissonance of living out of sync with your core values creates stress. For an empath, this is magnified:
- You instantly feel the emotional undercurrent when you walk into a room.
- You are constantly on edge when others are upset.
- You are trying to connect using a version of yourself that others are comfortable with.
This performance is exactly what prevents you from hearing your own voice, which is necessary for success on your unique path. You may feel like you are not living up to your potential, but perhaps your aims are simply not glorified in our status-conscious world. If traditional jobs haven’t felt quite right—like you are leaving part of yourself at the door—it is a signal that you are called to do something meaningful. You are sensitive on purpose.
Integrity, Peace, and Connection: The New Stick for Measuring Success
The goal of true success is achieving coherence—bringing your body, mind, and spirit into alignment. This measure of success strives to support our authentic self, encouraging meaning and happiness while honoring our natural talents and limitations.
Here is an alternative measure of success based on your personal stick: Integrity, Peace, and Connection.
1. Work that is Fulfilling
Do you enjoy the work you do? Does it bring you happiness or fulfillment? If you like what you do, allow yourself to be joyful about it; joy and happiness are too precious in life to talk ourselves out of. The work that aligns with your values should also align with your healing and spirit.
2. Equal Exchange of Energy
Does the time and energy you exchange for your compensation feel commensurate? This is not about becoming a millionaire; it is about feeling valued and not coming home at the end of the week feeling resentful. The amount of output should feel comparable to the input/income you receive in exchange. For sensitive souls, reclaiming your energy is vital for living with clarity and confidence.
3. Authenticity
Do you feel your job supports your core values and ethics? The day-in, day-out sacrifice of what we hold most dear takes a tremendous toll on us, leading to stress and, long-term, illness. Finding a vocation that is in alignment with your core values is paramount, because life is too short to hate yourself.
4. Balance
Are you able to fit your job into your life, making time for family, friends, and activities? Work/life balance is a quintessential struggle, and we must continually aspire to find it through conscious acts of honoring our limits and meeting our needs. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish, it is mandatory.
The Logic of the Soul: A Case Study in Alignment
- She rejected “Identity Fatigue”: To be the Solo Star often requires wearing a Phantom Persona—a mask that must be maintained to sell records. Lisa chose to simply be a singer, inhabiting her gift without performing a persona.
- She chose “Power-With” over “Power-Over”: Our culture worships the soloist (the unhealed Solar Plexus needing attention). Lisa chose the harmony (the Heart Center needing connection). She found success in collaboration, not domination.
- She honored her Energy Exchange: She recognized that the “cost” of fame—the loss of privacy, the pressure, the isolation—was too high a price for her happiness.
Lisa Fischer isn’t a failed solo artist. She is a wildly successful vocalist who checked her own dashboard, saw that “Connection” and “Peace” were her highest values, and built a life that honored them.
If you are looking at your own life and feeling like you “should” want the promotion, the bigger house, or the spotlight, ask yourself: Is that my Soul speaking? Or is that the pressure of a world that doesn’t understand the value of harmony?
You are allowed to define success as the ability to do your work with joy, go home to a quiet house, and feel like yourself.
Your Journey Starts Now
Your sensitivity is a gift, not a burden. If this journey of redefining success resonates with you—the path of healing trauma, honoring sensitivity, and living aligned—know that support is available for the necessary work.
If you are an entrepreneur ready to lead from alignment, not burnout, consider joining Empathic Edge: Business Mentoring for Empaths, described as a sacred circle designed for this exact purpose.
If you are ready to understand your sensitivity, reclaim your energy, and live with clarity and confidence, the Empath Apprenticeship is a transformational mentorship designed to support you.
You are also invited to join Aligned Journeys, a membership community for empaths dedicated to using their traits and skills to make a more equitable society, and to connect with the Aligned Blog or Free Resources for ongoing guidance. You can also receive gentle guidance and reminders that your sensitivity is a gift via the weekly newsletter.
