Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.
Personal energetic boundaries are the invisible barriers that we have around ourselves that help to protect our energy, emotions, and personal space. They help us to maintain our own sense of self and keep us from being overwhelmed or drained by the energy of others.
Having strong personal energetic boundaries is essential for maintaining good physical and mental health, as it allows us to regulate our own energy and emotions and to choose when and how we engage with others.
When our boundaries are weak or poorly defined, we may feel overwhelmed, anxious, or drained, and we may have a hard time saying no or setting limits with others.
What are Personal Energetic Boundaries?
Every person, animal, and object has an aura, a bubble around them. The aura is approximately 3 feet in all directions from the person, animal, or object. This is the container for your energy. A strong personal energetic boundary would look like the aura being clear of anything that isn’t yours.
Empaths have porous or permeable auras, whether this is because of physiology differences or the result of trauma is unclear. This permeability allows the energy and emotions of other people, animals, and places into the aura. This build up in the aura weakens our energy and can create health problems; both mental and physical.
There are four key ways to strengthen and maintain healthy personal energetic boundaries:
1. Practice physical grounding into your body and clearing your aura
There are a variety of ways to do both of these things naturally: exercise is great for grounding and a shower or sea salt bath is wonderful for clearing your energy.
If you know you are prone to picking up other people’s stuff, I suggest a consistent practice of grounding and clearing. I suggest a minimum of twice a day and encourage the practice whenever it might be beneficial, before a hard conversation or going to Walmart, for example.
2. Know your limits
It’s important to be aware of what drains your energy and what gives you energy. Pay attention to your body and your emotions, and take breaks when you need them.
Empaths often need to learn how to hear their bodies again. Their sensitivity usually causes our consciousness to leave their bodies because of the amount of sensation or “noise” they experience.
While understandable for a child who can’t control their environment, adult empaths need to reconnect their consciousness with their bodies for the sake of their health and wellbeing. This is a process that can begin with #1, grounding your body and clearing your aura.
3. Set boundaries
Be clear with yourself and others about what behaviors you are and are not willing to tolerate or experience. This might involve setting limits on how much time you spend with certain people, saying no to invitations or requests that don’t align with your values or needs, or setting boundaries around how you want to be treated.
If this skill is challenging, give yourself a break and begin practicing boundary setting in your head. Practice the words and come up with dialogue that feels authentic to you while still being clear and firm. This practice can take time to feel safe and you may need the support of a therapist or coach.
4. Practice self-care
Take care of your own needs, both physical and emotional. This might involve getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and taking time for hobbies and activities that nourish your soul.
Self-care can be hard to accomplish in our demanding culture. And it is often prescribed without enough thought and follow-thru. I suggest taking time to center yourself and your wellbeing in your life.
I know this goes against our programming, especially for women, especially for mothers. However, airplane safety applies to everyone, all the time–take care of yourself before helping others–you are no good to anyone when you’re burnt out.
By paying attention to our own energy and setting clear boundaries, we can protect ourselves from being drained by others and maintain a sense of balance and well-being. Strong personal energetic boundaries are an essential part of taking care of ourselves and living a healthy, fulfilling life.
