Through the Darkness

Emotions are tunnels. You have to go all the way through the darkness to get to the light at the end.

~ Emily Nagoski

I have been feeling off for quite a while now. The pep is gone from my step. There is nothing really wrong. So, what is this I am feeling?

In general, our society isn’t known for being particularly savvy about identifying or expressing our emotions. We do a good job numbing, hiding, and burying our feelings. Keep Calm and Carry On, as they say. 

Here’s the thing, we have a limit to our capacity to stuff down our feelings. Unacknowledged, these feelings begin to leak out in weird ways and at inopportune times. The goal now is to stay afloat. There is still a ways to go before we feel the buoyancy of progress again. So how do we cope?

Continuing Through the Darkness

As one major event bleeds into another this year, we find ourselves swimming along just trying to keep our heads above water. Just keep swimmingA reminder that when we are still in the trauma, we can’t begin to heal, so what we have to focus on is triage. 

And triage is managing our emotions and our capacity. Let’s start with emotions.

Give them room to breathe. We do not have to analyze what we are feeling too deeply, in fact, don’t analyze them at all. Just feel them. Notice the sensations of your body, not the thoughts that rush up with your emotions. Those thoughts are what shutdown the processing of feelings. 

There will be plenty of time later for analysis, for now just allow your body to feel the sensations as they come up. Feel them move around and through your body, knowing they will pass when they complete their cycle.

We can allow ourselves room and time to cry or scream or rage or laugh. If we don’t add our thoughts to the matter and feed those feelings all of our fears and frustrations, they will dissipate quickly and we are then left feeling lighter and better able to manage the large load each of us are carrying right now.

Managing Capacity

As we move through the darkness, remember there is so much about our daily lives that we can’t control. Work schedules, child schedules, store schedules, etc., it is important to remember that we have a capacity, a maximum volume that we can hold. Do you know your capacity?

We usually only know our capacity when we have sailed right past it. Have you thought about how you can reduce your load? At least temporarily?

With so many things on our plate that are not flexible, we will need to find where in our schedules there is room for flexibility. Maybe it is with chores? Maybe it is recruiting help from other family members or coworkers or community?

Asking for help is often hard, so sit with it. Warm up to the idea. See what things can wait, what can’t and if it can’t, how you can find a solution that works for now? 

Now is not the time for perfection, it is the time for good enough. Experiment, let your creativity explore options without censoring them. Life has constricted. Our time, our options, our space, our lives are constricted. 

If we allow it, this is when our creativity shines. Get crazy with it. Not every idea will be feasible. Not every option will work out but I trust that you will find the nuggets you need to keep going. To keep showing up and getting things done. 

Don’t forget to breathe. Don’t forget to scream and cry, even if those aren’t your feelings you are experiencing, let the energy escape. There will be a time in the future when we can get specific and do our healing, for now it is triage and balancing our precarious capacity.

As you start the new year, examine how you can increase your capacity. Is there a mindfulness practice or self-care ritual you can begin? Something that brings you into a quiet space for a few minutes or even an hour, so you can tune into yourself.

Perhaps right before bed, leave your phone across the room, climb into bed, take some deep breaths, and close your eyes. Just be there, sitting in bed, feeling your heart beat, and following your breath. Allow your mind to wander, do your best to watch the thoughts bounce around instead of thinking them. 

Once you have felt your shoulders drop and your breathing slow, you can finish and go to sleep. Or read a book if you can’t sleep, and remain in this quieter, slower state until you fall asleep. This process will all your capacity to expand, renewing your energy so you can continue on through the darkness until once again the light returns.

Ready for Some Help?

If you are on looking for an reset of your energy, consider a Quantum Alignment session. In these sessions, we can address what is on the surface that is feeling heavy and causing your stress. I can also clear and balance your energy system so you are ready to go a few more rounds in the ring. Schedule now.

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About the Author

Laura Rowe is an Intuitive Strategist & Spiritual Seeker at The Vital Spirit. Living in Portland, Oregon, Laura founded The Vital Spirit in 2013. She has a background in business operations, a master’s degree in organizational management, and she has spent the last 35 years studying spiritual traditions and practices, and the last 12 years training in intuitive energy healing modalities.

Laura helps empaths and sensitives who have struggled their whole life with belonging. Explore How We Can Work Together