“I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they will become self-indulgent. They believe self-criticism keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.” ~ Dr. Kristin Neff
I stopped to listen to the thoughts in my head the other day after a particularly bad day. One of those days that starts with oversleeping and just keeps getting worse.
My thoughts were not kind or compassionate. I was chastising and criticizing myself the way only I can.
And you know what?
I would never, ever speak to anyone I love the way I was talking to myself. But when I am feeling bad and not being kind to me, I am much more likely to behave badly to strangers and acquaintances.
I need to remember that as a human being, by definition, I am imperfect and I need to speak to myself with compassion and love.
I didn’t treat myself well that day and I did indeed spread negativity and unkindness around.
Compassion and kindness for all beings with compassion for the self.
If you wouldn’t talk to your partner, mother, or child the way you talk to yourself, then stop, stop now.
We are all deserving of our own love and compassion.
We grow when we are loved. So if I am committed to spreading love and kindness (and I am), then I must stop berating myself.
Instead, I will work on showing love to the part of myself that is trying and failing, so I can try again.